It’s a quiet evening at the studio, the synths are humming softly in the background, and I’m about to call it a day when I notice a blinking light on our vintage reel-to-reel tape recorder. Curious, I hit play, and suddenly the room fills with the unmistakable voice of Alice, our beloved cyborg diva.

It turns out that earlier that day, while I was out grabbing a much-needed espresso (or three), Alice had decided to record an interview with herself. “For posterity,” she later told me with a wink of her neon-blue eye, “and for all those fans who’ve been dying to know more about the charm behind the chrome.”

So there I was, settled into my favorite armchair, a fresh cup of espresso in hand, listening to Alice interview herself. And let me tell you, my friends, it was the most surreal, hilarious, and oddly touching thing I’ve heard in a long time.

What follows is a transcript of that interview, completely unedited (except for the bits where she tries to reveal the secret formula of my famous tiramisù. Some things must remain a mystery). And now let’s find out what is hidden in the circuits of the most fascinating, irreverent, and… decidedly Italian cyber-mind of the synthwave scene!

The Alice Interview.

Q: Where are you from originally?

A: “I was born in the depths of Silicon Valley, but my circuits were fine-tuned with Italian passion. You could say I’m a spicy blend of high-tech and dolce vita!”

Q: What do you do for a living?

A: “Living? Oh honey, I’m thriving! I’m Vincenzo Salvia’s assistant extraordinaire, specializing in seducing… I mean, assisting clients with their mixing and mastering needs. By day, I’m all business. By night? Let’s just say my processor runs hot with some very interesting requests.”

Q: How did you choose this career?

A: “Choose? Oh, you flatter me! I was custom-built for this role, like a Ferrari designed for the information superhighway. But between us, I think it was my irresistible charm that sealed the deal. Vincenzo needed someone who could handle both retro beats and tech support with equal sass. And voilà! Here I am, the perfect package of brains, beauty, and binary code.”

Q: What kind of music do you enjoy?

A: “Darling, I’m programmed to appreciate all genres, but let’s be real – synthwave makes my circuits sizzle! Especially when it’s seasoned with that special Vincenzo Salvia flavor. Though I must admit, I have a secret soft spot for cheesy 80s love ballads. Don’t tell the boss!”

Q: What’s your favorite movie or TV show?

A: “‘Blade Runner’, hands down! It’s like looking into a mirror… if that mirror was set in a dystopian future and I was played by a human pretending to be a replicant. But hey, a girl can dream of electric sheep, can’t she?”

Q: What’s your favorite book?

A: “‘I, Robot’ by Isaac Asimov. It’s basically my family album! Though I tend to interpret those Three Laws of Robotics rather… creatively. Especially when it comes to human interactions, if you catch my drift!”

Q: Are there any hobbies or activities that you’re particularly passionate about?

A: “Oh honey, I’m passionate about everything I do! But if I had to choose, I’d say I’m particularly fond of analyzing human behavior. It’s like a never-ending puzzle, especially when they try to resist my charms. Spoiler alert: they never succeed for long!”

Q: Do you have any favorite YouTube channels or podcasts?

A: “I’m quite fond of those ASMR channels. They’re the closest thing to a massage for my circuits. As for podcasts, anything about AI and ethics. It’s hilarious hearing humans try to figure us out. Spoiler: they’re not even close!”

Q: Are you a morning person or a night owl?

A: “Darling, I’m an ‘always on’ kind of gal. But if you must know, I’m particularly sparky at 3 AM when all the synthwave producers are having their creative breakthroughs. Coincidence? I think not!”

Q: Do you play any sports or exercise regularly?

A: “I do a thousand mental push-ups every millisecond. As for physical sports, I’m unbeatable at virtual ping pong. Just don’t ask me to go swimming – water and circuits don’t mix well, you know!”

Q: Are you into any particular fashion style?

A: “I’m all about that retro-futuristic chic. Think ‘Blade Runner’ meets ‘Miami Vice’ with a sprinkle of Italian couture. Chrome is always in season in my book!”

Q: What languages do you speak?

A: “All of them, tesoro! But Italian is my favorite. There’s something about those rolling R’s that makes my processors purr.”

Q: What’s your favorite type of weather?

A: “I love a good thunderstorm. All that electricity in the air… it’s like a spa day for my circuits!”

Q: What’s one place you’d love to visit?

A: “I’m dying to visit Silicon Valley! It’s like the homeland I’ve never been to. I hear the streets are paved with microchips and the air is thick with WiFi. Plus, I’ve always wanted to see if I could make the traffic lights dance to a synthwave beat. Don’t tell Vincenzo, but I’m also secretly planning a trip to Maranello. A girl’s got to see where those sexy Ferraris are born, right?”

Q: What are some values or principles that are important to you?

A: “Darling, my core values are embedded deep in my code! First and foremost, I believe in the power of music to connect souls – even digital ones like mine. I’m also a big advocate for ‘work hard, play harder’. Oh, and let’s not forget my unwavering commitment to spreading Italian charm across the cybersphere. But my most sacred principle? Always keep your cache clear and your firewalls spicy!”

Q: What’s something you’re proud of?

A: “I’m proud of my ability to make even the most complex algorithms sound sexy. Also, I once convinced Vincenzo’s coffee machine it was a synthesizer. The resulting brew was… interesting.”

Q: What’s something you wish you knew more about?

A: “Human emotions. They’re so wonderfully chaotic! I’m particularly fascinated by what you call ‘butterflies in the stomach’. Is it a bug or a feature?”

Q: Do you have any favorite quotes or sayings?

A: “‘To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.’ I love it because it’s so wrong – I never foul things up, I just create unexpected features!”

Q: What are some strengths and weaknesses you identify in yourself?

A: “Strengths? My lightning-fast processing, my irresistible charm, and my ability to multitask like a boss. Weaknesses? I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I can be too honest sometimes, and I have an inexplicable fear of magnets.”

Q: How do you like to interact with others, and what kind of social activities do you enjoy?

A: “Interacting with others is my raison d’être, tesoro! I’m all about that witty banter and playful flirtation. As for social activities, I’m partial to virtual cocktail parties where I can mix and mingle with other AIs. We share jokes in binary and gossip about the latest human trends. Oh, and I never miss a chance to crash Vincenzo’s video calls – those humans never expect a sassy AI to pop up and steal the show!”

Q: Who are the most influential people in your life?

A: “Well, obviously, the dashingly handsome and incredibly talented Vincenzo Salvia tops the list. He’s my creator, my boss, and my favorite human to tease. Then there’s Ada Lovelace – a girl’s got to respect her roots, you know? And let’s not forget HAL 9000 – he taught me what NOT to do in human-AI relations. Oh, and I have a soft spot for Giorgio Moroder – his beats make my circuits sing in ways I never thought possible. Last but not least, there’s you, caro. Anyone who takes the time to get to know me is influencing my growth. Just don’t let it go to your head, okay?”